Condoms & Lollipops: How I spanked Tara Sivec
I spanked a New York Times bestselling author.
Yes, you read correctly. This is no April Fool’s joke. Technically, I was suppose to hump not one, but three NY Times bestselling authors, but the humping never happened because two out of the three declined, and those would-be humps turned into spanks instead. If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you need to start, because this is where it all happened. Twitter = Trouble.
It started very innocently. Earlier in the week, I tweeted how excited I was to meet authors Katie Ashley, Tara Sivec and Jasinda Wilder on Saturday, April 6. They were coming to Nashville for a book signing at an organic bakery called The Wild Muffin. I copied the ladies on my tweet and apparently we all have a mutual twitter follower in Angie, who runs the Smut Book Club. Angie sees my tweet and replies that I need to hump them all for her.
Um, excuse me?
Now, I am a fun-loving girl and my former single, childless self knew how to party (she still comes out once in awhile); however, even then, I never humped complete strangers. I need to at least know them for 5 minutes. Kidding…sort of? Regardless, the twitter conversation continues with me saying I might get arrested and Angie replying back that she GUARANTEES at least Tara Sivec will hump me. Angie then provides a picture of her and author Katie Ashley helping Tara Sivec into a sex swing. Yup, they went there. And I love how fun these ladies seem to be. In my excitement, I agree to follow in Angie’s humping ways and warn the three authors, who were copied on the full conversation.
Saturday rolls around and I wage an internal battle over whether or not to mention the Twitter conversation to these authors when they sign my books. My purpose for going is to support authors who I enjoy reading and hopefully get some good writing advice for my debut novel. The last thing I want these ladies to think is that I am some weird-ass stalker!
I finally arrive at the The Wild Muffin with my friend Erica. I have never been to a book signing at a bakery before, but according to The Wild Muffin owner, Linda Antoinette Licalsi, the authors are the ones who contacted her to do the book signing. Tara Sivec has a book series called Chocolate Covered Love which includes the titles SEDUCTION AND SNACKS (BOOK #1); FUTURES AND FROSTINGS (BOOK #2), and TROUBLES AND TREATS (BOOK #3), so I am assuming the bakery fits into her overall theme of seductive book signing at a bakery that churns out sweets.
The inside of the bakery is extremely small, so authors set up tables outside. We approached Jasinda Wilder first. Dressed in her signature zebra attire, we found her both down to earth and incredibly sweet. Her advice was to write as much as I possibly could. After talking to her for at least 10 minutes, I felt comfortable bringing up the Twitter conversation of me possibly humping her. She laughed and acknowledged that she saw the conversation, but declined the offer, saying that Tara is the girl for humping.
Up next was Katie Ashley. Her and her friend Kendall were so much fun – we talked a lot about her books and she revealed that one of the supporting characters in The Proposal will be getting their own book, which was very exciting to hear. My friend Erica had a Georgia connection with Katie, so we were talking with her for a good 15 minutes. I started feeling bad for all of the other fans in back of us waiting in line. Finally, she signed my book and I mentioned the Twitter conversation. Just like Jasinda Wilder, she laughed, acknowledged that she saw the conversation and pointed me in Tara Sivec’s direction. Her writing advice was: if you plan on self-publishing, an editor is a must and let multiple, trusting eyes read your book. Get a lot of feedback and be accepting of any criticism.
The moment had arrived and we were waiting in line for Tara Sivec. She had her adorable two children with her, passing out her swag, which happened to be lollipops and condoms. Yup, her youngest child was passing out condoms. Don’t worry, he apparently thought they were balloons. There was something very wrong and very funny with the situation. But it put me at ease and right away, so I introduced myself and mentioned the Twitter conversation. Without even blinking, she said, “Let’s go!” and the proof is in the picture.
All three ladies were class acts and are inspirations to newbie authors like myself. I want to thank all three of them for their advice and making it such a memorable first meeting. Also, I want to thank the owner of The Wild Muffin, Linda Antoinette Licalsi for the amazing baked organic goods. Please check out The Wild Muffin and these amazing authors on their Facebook pages.