In the heady first days post-Embers release date I thought, perhaps naively, that the sky-high feeling of boundless creativity I had been riding on to that point would last forever and that writing would forever more feel easy and fluid.
Reality: I am now battling with the principle that while I love writing and reading as much, if not more than ever; I am not always in the right mind-set, it isn’t that easy and that for me, loving it as much as I do isn’t enough to defeat life’s mounting pile of things I must also do instead. (current list including…finishing my trilogy, have baby number two in a matter of weeks, pack up and move home and plan for Christmas)
This isn’t meant to be doom and gloom, it is more me spit-balling the idea that we put too much pressure on ourselves to always be over a 1000% invested in our passions and suffer the guilt if we don’t make the cut.
The very nature of a passion, a pursuit in which you invest time willingly is the joy it brings and the feelings it can evoke for you that are like no other. There is no substitute for the highs of doing what you love, writing in my case, but I am also wife, mother (to one and soon to be another), employee, friend, daughter, freelancer and so on. Sometimes, though I will myself to make time to do another chapter on book three, I instead collapse on the sofa before promptly passing out with near exhaustion from the general hubbub of every day life.
Does this mean my love affair with the written word is over? Am I moving on from what has been my passion forever? NO! Hell no! I am juggling and I have decided well in advance of New Year to be resolute in my willingness to cut myself some slack and occasionally not feel like writing. My books and I, we are great buddies, the best. And great friends can go huge lengths of time and not speak, but pick up like it was yesterday or be miles apart and still feel secure that their friendship is on track and will always work out. That is me and writing – we get each other.
So, sometimes if you feel quiet and a book feels too heavy to hold or your fingers just won’t.type…. then have a rest and come back to it fresh. Don’t panic, don’t assume you need to find a new love with which you are prepared to spend every waking minute… instead trust in what you know and that the hunger and the need to get working again will come back in good time and you’ll be better for it.
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